Illusion

虽然，我当过小孩，但是相信许多人像我一样忘了小孩们的空间是如何了吧

我想，小孩的空间与大人是非常靠近的，但是，他们的角度就不一样了。写起了这空间，当然因为看见了姐姐的女儿，灵感来了。。。

小孩，天天不知道时间和未来，他们后来慢慢的习惯了父母给他们的安排，后来就慢慢开始了他们的空间。起床后，他们没忙着去读书，做工，记得要小便，吃早餐。看着爸爸去工作，该走的，该留下来的。他们心里常常会问，去那里? 为什么还不回来 ? 做工 ? 知道是做工，可是如果我问，什么是做工，他们能回答吗 ? 为什么，非要他们知道，不知道呢? 那就是小孩的空间，知道的，不知道的。傻不傻，不能怪他们的。

他们生活就像童话故事里，去到那里就开始了新的探险，那常常放出好奇心，好多疑问的脸，却不能知道，问了之后，其实知道了地方名，可是，那对他来说，还是没什么意识。

他们慢慢的习惯了周围的生活，常常希望有人陪他们，因为，当你走了以后，他不知道什么是时间，他会害怕，怕你不回来了。。。 可是后来还是习惯了。他知道，会回来的。可是，如果没有再回来了，怎么办呢 ? 他们没有想过 ? 不知道。。

他们的空间，我觉得， 很不自然，很不安心，可是还是抱着希望，应为他们开始习惯了生活。 小孩，就是不能被失望。。他们的性格，就从他们的空间开始，开心的 ? 害怕的 ? 不知道。。

也许一天，他们长大了，有了自己的空间，那又是这么样的呢? 还是一样，可是，你的责任，就不一样了。不再，什么都不知道的小孩了。你有该做的，该准备的，不能老是不知道的过着哪简单有不平凡的日子了。

所以说，人生的空间，你了解多少，你应该就会付出多少，可是也不一定。 简单来说，如果你没有朋友的空间，你就可以做自己喜欢的，不必理任何人。站在朋友的空间，就要互相尊重对方。后来，有了 Blog 的空间，就会写了越来越多不知道，不一定，我猜，我想，我自己觉得的奇妙空间了….

What a wonderful night, I feel very proud and respect to my grandpa haha! We celebrate his birthday at crown tower and have a big dinner around 30 + table.

The opening was really great and once again my grandpa was really great person that everypeople is respect him. He come in with my grandma and follow by all his son and daughter as my mom as there too. That was really show a very happy and grateful moment cause my grandpa is already 81 but still walking strong come in and bowing hand to everybody. That was a very great moment which I can enjoy it i feel i very lucky to have a strong grandpa.

Grandpa still dance a while in the night, and all son and daughter and cucu cici, kiss him.. of cos grandma be the first to kiss him. woah.. so great that they can live together until so old still so loving!! He is really a very generous person and i guess he have a very big heart as i always see him with the kind of very acceptance and peaceful look. It is hard to explain that, it is very high personality and at the very top level. haha.

As i know, grandpa everymorning usually still go to farm and farming some vegetable, a healthy person and with his lovely wife. He is really very hardworking and open heart person. Grandpa have come a long way and he is really succeed his life cause he have built up a big happy family. I not really have much time together with my grandpa since young, cause he is not live together with me, so i not really know very well about him. But I know my grandpa is a really very good person and really i am very "jin pei" him.

Woah, what i think, even if you are billionair, but u enjoy your 81 years old birthday with few son or small family, i think that is not really great compare to a normal family but with so many relative and big family. That is a different feeling and true achievement in life. Wat i think is that a true person is not how rich he is, but how high and deep that the life experience and the respect from people. The higher respect mean that you are a really true person and really come to the top level of human being. Duno how to say that kind of level. But i think my grandpa did it. haha..

Its gonna be another grandpa which have that kind of top and deep level of life gonna be in future.. haha.. and hope everyone should learn to be so steady like my grandpa.. haha!

不知从几时，又回到了那静悄悄的夜晚，开始有点想去睡的感觉，平时不到两三四点都不睡，现在两点前就感觉要睡了什么时候，生活又平淡了下来，聆听着那屋外传来的狗叫声。可以感觉到那里的距离，天空飞过的飞机声，周围的宁静，心还是不能慢慢的停下来，因为，接着明天还有更多的事要去做。

想起过去几个月，天天有电脑就可以麻醉了一整夜，如今总有一些感觉，要去睡了。大概DOTA 也有点没意识了。我的卡通柯南侦探故事也不能连续看太多集。

心浮浮的感觉，总是莫名其妙让知己懒了下来，什么都不想做的，这还可真糟糕。快是时候去做该做的拉。

想起那天电视有个人说，狂风暴雨后就会看见彩虹。偶尔细细阳雨后也会有彩虹的。时间在哪一杀那会停顿下来呢 ? 好让每一个人好好的休息一番。可是，停顿之后，没有多少人会把心情好好的从新开始干活。

我在等待的一天，我的时间是缓慢的，我不需毫无情绪思考天天得做些不想做的事，站在高楼望下，那细细的人走在街上不停的来来回回，感觉自知以不存在哪茫茫然然生活中。也许如果有那么一天，好多的事情也有了界限，从中不知不觉回到了那静悄悄的夜晚。。。。。

生活当中，许许多多的付出，牺牲，换来的是你现在要的吗? 你有好好想过吗? 那简简单单快乐天地，还是那忙碌不停换来的一切? 如果没有下雨，会有彩虹吗? 是否明天还会更好呢?

嘻嘻，就在这静悄悄的一回，你念这篇文章有了什么感受呢? 到底念完了后，换来的是什么呢 ? 大概没什么吧。。哈哈。。 拜托，有念的人，随便给个放屁放屁的反应也好吧。。 是时候让我回到我的静悄悄入睡的夜晚了，晚安……

过了好多年，幼子园，小学，中学，college, University, 认识了也不算多的朋友，朋友的故事应该从还没念幼子园开始吧。。。

记得小时候，隔壁邻居有两个大我几岁的朋友，那时姐姐和我长长一起玩，但是有时好像他们比较喜欢姐姐，可能是应为我较小所以我很麻烦。后来就搬家了，真的不舍得他们，如今也在没有联络了。虽然，还是住在老地方。

搬家以后，就开始了我真正的生活，我认识了新朋友，也是邻居。童年，好巧，幼子年同校，但他现年一年，他幼二，我一。 我们那时拍了一张照片，我们是一样高的。哈哈。后来我高了一点。嘻嘻。

童年，我和他算是日日想见，但是通常是他来我家，我也习惯了。大概小孩该玩的都被我们玩了。

小学生涯，平平淡淡一直到了五年级，我变身了。那时大概爸爸也离家出走的时候吧。后来家里就租房给了4兄弟姐妹。二男二女。两位哥哥教了我很多很多事情，让我打开了世界的眼睛。第一次吃tomato mee, kueh chap, 还有很多很多。。。 也学会了打篮球，出门没爸爸妈妈带， 真的怀念跟他们一起的日子。

上了中学，他们也搬走了，日子也简单了。常常就是和朋友打球，逛街，后来还去电脑中心打counter strike. 妈的，打了好多钱。虽然1 小时二三零吉。所以后来也很少去了。呆在家里玩。常常买了game cd，玩了不久，一定有朋友要借，有些老虎借猪，有些忘了。

好没有音乐细胞的我，虽然学会弹钢琴，也是grade 3，后来懒惰练。三年级就丢了。可惜。但是，Form 4 那年，有位朋友接了我一片CD, 记得是 Limp Bizkit 的专辑，有几条还唱很多 FUCK 的子。我很好奇，唱歌有那么多粗活的哈哈。就喜欢上了。我开始向英文歌非常有心曲，听歌心情很好。后来，听了周杰伦的- 爸，我回来了。这首个，也开始听华语个。这也是我买自印 CD 的开始。

FORM 4,5， 我是学校唯一供应自选歌曲CD 的大忙人。天天有生意，有几位朋友也很帮我，天天送歌曲单给我。很感谢他们。大概赚了两三千。也买了我第一架CPU，到今天还用着。哈哈。

毕业后，朋友就越来越来少，国民服务认识了好多各地的朋友，但是，国民服务后，就到会原本的样子。哈哈，可惜。

到了INTI College, 开始是我一个人，sem 1, sem 2, 我一个人过活。sem 3 来了好多新人，但是也没很好，应为我不是很能交新朋友的。后来去了 DP 打工，就跟了三位个有个特质同学认识多了一点。她们真的很够朋友，给了我很多回忆，还够有心的帮我庆祝20岁生日。真的很感谢她们。

越来越离题了，为什么每次都这样，哈哈。管他那么多。写的爽麻。

如今，到了 swinburn, 开始真的有压力了，应为, 好像没有朋友可以依靠，虽然常常独来独往的我，没想到，还真有点讨厌一个人的。哈哈。朋友，那么多，没有几个能陪我到天亮。有时候还真够累。

所以说，人一定要独立，做什么，在哪里，想什么，都要从知己开始，有时候，世界还真够妙，要有心里准备，独战独胜!!!!

Wow!! Yesterday da jie, elby, elly, me and dajie fren go to damai o.. Morning 8 to 9 something we go eat breakfast then go inti wait fren lor.. after a while I drive elby kancil go damai lu.. jus a while nia reach liao.. haha.. after reach keep deciding how go in haha…

Uh.. heart still bit not so smooth de.. kekeke.. cannot write exciting a bit liao.. we go play swimming pool.. go play beach.. oh so fun haha.. night time really start get crazy liao haha…

We start play heart attack.. so funny.. who lose will kena draw turtle hahaha.. alot turtle and alot kind of turtle have born that night.. hahaha.. after play quite long time.. we say break time.. then i start drink beer.. erm…. still eat tomyam maggie cup.. add some beer in kok… now think of it.. bit yaks ho.. cause i scare beer liao.. hahaha… the story is just begin..

Wah kao.. we really have alot of fun.. talk talk talk.. then i keep drink.. eh hem.. my self drink nia.. elby drink little.. cheat me one.. hahaha… really fast… a while drink till 10 tin.. ngaiti.. i still very clear what i talking lah actually.. but my eye ar.. see things really keep moving liao.. hahahaa.. blur cin.. the feeling is really kao.. head so heavy ki.. suddenly got 5-10 KG things on my head.. haha.. then… suddenly very hin .. suddenly feel want vomit.. lucky still have time ask elby pull me go toilet.. haha.. cause she beside.. wah.. really very xin ku eh… after the first vomit.. i tot over liao.. then go back sleep liao lor… not long a while.. wah.. serious liao.. they all sleep.. duno why i still manage walk so fast go in toilet.. but i very blur actually.. hahaa.. then vomit very long inside.. really so xin ku eh.. till morning still vomit… when go back.. half way vomit in car. haha.. lucky got prepare plastic bag liao.. now better lo.. just heart not feel nice..

ngaiti.. become vomit blog liao la… no la.. actually this damai trip really thanks to elly, elby big sister them loh.. they so funny hahaha.. always so cute one haha.. before i vomit.. we talk alot.. really fun.. i can remember quite alot things when drunk.. oh. really duno how to write now.. haha..

just can say, this damai trip is really so special lor.. first time become so drunk eh.. drunk till vomit.. scary also.. hahaha.. very sweet also.. can have fun with fren.. really nice one… so long dint so happy liao.. haha.. actually before write got think write alot fun things and write describe very nice one.. now tired liao.. cant think well.. hahaha… o k la.. jus thanks to all fren loh.. i enjoy it!

So Far, I not yet heard any people said that they can control dream. If some one do, share with me! What i want to share here is real and hope u got that kind of chance too one day haha. Ok, here i said I can control dream sometime. And i figure out usually at wat time and what situation.

Say about control dream, It is hard to understand how it works. My control dream here is like, when it is dream, usually people dream like real life or bit fantasy, even they in the dream, but their mind do nothing than just let it happen like watching movie or u have feeling for taste some food or something like that.

But, here in my controlling dream is much different, I can make the dream as I am really real inside and i can move what i like and do something that is under my control. I can feel it exactly real.

Ok, here i explain usually when i can control dream, of cos, this is very hard and not all the time i got chance of it, just lucky then i can make it. Mostly it happen when u are in the not truely fall sleep mode. I call it half sleep mode easier. How it to be Half sleep? Usually Me is when morning, cause morning is about to wake, estimate the time around 7-10am. Usually people like to lying on the bed for the first wake and continue sleep. Some time, I do tat, and luckily i will being in the half sleep controlling mode. Actually my mind is work and when dream, i realise and i know i am dreaming and so i can exactly cantrol the dream or dream something i want. Of cos, sometime it is hard cause usually i in half sleep mode, then if i over realise i am awake or my mind cant imagine or bring it to dream, then the screen of dream cant come out and i will wake again. It is hard to explain how it works. Haha. But it is really very fun that u can control u dream, once u can realise it is dream and control the dream, u can actually do some bad things and u not scare cause it is dream hahaha. U can slap any people in u dream, or anything u like to do. Amazing le… hehehhehee…

Here i want to say, believe it or not, hahaha.. Hope u can have the chance to "control dream" too. And wish me can truely master it. Lolz. I just happen it for some lucky time. hehuhuhu…hehee..